Communication Styles: Finding Your Voice in Relationships
When it comes to building a relationship that truly works, communication is at the heart of everything.
Not just talking, not just listening—but really understanding each other.
Because your voice deserves to be heard—clearly, kindly, and with confidence.
When it comes to building a relationship that truly works, communication is at the heart of everything. Not just talking, not just listening—but really understanding each other. And that starts with something most of us were never taught: how to find and express our own voice.
Maybe you grew up in a home where speaking up led to conflict—or silence. Maybe you were praised for being agreeable, even if it meant swallowing your needs. Or maybe you’ve spent years learning to adapt to your partner’s tone, pace, or emotional language just to keep the peace. If any of that resonates, know this: you are not alone.
And also? Your voice matters.
What Is a Communication Style, Really?
Communication styles are the ways we express ourselves—verbally and nonverbally—in connection with others. Some of us lead with emotion. Others speak in facts. Some are bold and direct. Others take their time, weighing every word. There’s no one-size-fits-all approach. The key is to know your style—and honor it—while learning to understand the style of the person you’re with.
Here are a few common styles:
- Assertive: Clear, respectful, and confident. Speaks up with care for self and others.
- Passive: Avoids conflict, often stays quiet to “keep the peace,” but may build up resentment.
- Aggressive: Prioritizes self-expression over connection; may push others away with tone or volume.
- Passive-Aggressive: Appears calm but expresses needs through sarcasm, withdrawal, or guilt.
- Compassionate Communicator: A blend of assertiveness and empathy. Seeks to express clearly and listen deeply.
Finding Your Voice: A Gentle Invitation
If you’ve ever said “I don’t know how to say this…” or “It’s easier to just let it go,” it might be time to reconnect with your voice. Here’s how:
1. Start by getting honest—with yourself.
What do you really feel? What do you really need? When you give yourself space to name those things internally, it becomes easier to express them outwardly.
2. Practice ‘I’ statements.
Instead of “You never listen,” try “I feel unheard when I share something important and it’s dismissed.” These kinds of statements create space for curiosity instead of defensiveness.
3. Speak up in small ways, consistently.
You don’t need a grand confrontation. Even saying, “I’d prefer tea instead of coffee this morning,” is a way to reclaim your voice.
4. Know your nervous system.
If you freeze, fawn, or flee in tense moments, it’s not weakness—it’s your body protecting you. Learn what helps you regulate (breath, grounding, a walk, a mantra) so you can return to calm and try again.
5. Let silence be a friend.
Not every conversation needs to be immediate. Sometimes the bravest thing we can say is, “I’d like to come back to this when I’ve had time to think.”
And If You’re in Relationship…
…remember, finding your voice isn’t just about being heard. It’s also about learning to hear others with a little more compassion, a little less reactivity. Because communication isn’t a contest—it’s a connection.
You are allowed to take up space in the conversation.
You are allowed to slow down the pace.
You are allowed to speak with softness and strength.
Because love isn’t just what we feel.
It’s how we speak.
And how we listen.
Caterina Barregar
Social Media
Check out Imagine Life Coaching on our social media channels, which we update regularly.