Shifting Your Thoughts About Love
All loving relationships must start with a feeling that we ourselves, are loveable. If we do not think we are loveable, then how can someone else think we are.
Today, I helped a client to shift their thinking about loving relationships. All loving relationships must start with a feeling that we ourselves, are loveable. If we do not think we are loveable, then how can someone else think we are. The idea that we are not worthy often begins early in childhood, around the age of 7 or 8. Sometimes even earlier. It can be a life long struggle, and it doesn’t need to be that way. Once you get the idea that you must love yourself first, then the relationship with your partner, your friends, family and so on are changed forever.
Some may say it is selfish to love yourself, when nothing could be further from the truth. Imagine your 7 year old son or daughter, who is being shown how to BE in this world by someone who does not love, or even like themselves. Feelings of bitterness, anger, resentment, and sometimes, a need to hurt others, is what is being taught in these moments.
Getting married, or being in a significant relationship with someone who doesn’t like themselves, will often end, or turn into an emotionally or physically abusive situation.
Doing the work, practicing loving kindness towards all sentient beings, and most especially towards yourself, can really shift your energy to the point where you will feel good about who you are and others will want to spend more time with you and will love you for all that you are.
Some think that they make mistakes, and are failures. All of life’s events and struggles are about becoming more of who you are meant to be in the world. With some consistent work and habit change, you can become the queen to your man or the king to your woman.
Living a life of love, joy and happiness brings so much bliss on a daily basis and it doesn’t matter if you are on your own or if you are in a relationship.
When I work with couples who are not sure if they are going to be able to stay in their relationship, my focus will always be on their self esteem and self love first and most of the time, once each of them learn to value themselves, we do more around their relationship.
Imagine working thru some of the old tapes in your head, and realizing how valuable you really are. And then imagine your partner, noticing a change in you that is so profound, they will fall in love with you all over again.
Caterina Barregar
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